The photo above of yours truly is creepy, I admit. It represents one of the first of many future attempts to really learn how to use my camera. "Light-painting" was the technique used and it and involves leaving open the shutter in a dark room while, with flashlights, painting the void with photons. 

And apparently, it's hard for me to use this technique without producing something a little chilling.  Have you ever seen a flower more unsettling?

A similar technique involves catching star trails by leaving the shutter open in a dark world, allowing the Earth's rotation be the hand that moves the photon-brush.

This is, I guess, true cosmic shoplifting, just stealing photons and working from the movements of celestial bodies.

And I'll get better at it. With an enthusiasm that always walks alongside new projects or hobbies, I'm learning new things, like how to spot the North Star, how my camera's image sensor works, and how devastating Ontario's blackflies really are.  And I'm remembering that Earth is small potatoes in the cosmos--a perspective that let's you let the unimportant to simply slide without the "ah fuck it" attitude. Of course, the insight is one I easily forget. Gravity is crueler to the heavy hearted.

Looking up appears to be the theme these days.
A local newspaper I E-mailed recently has been corresponding with me and this week I've been assigned 3 pieces, all due at the end of the week.  I'm excited to be chasing down stories and writing, regardless of how small potatoes the stories are.
And, if it works out, it'll get me away from the graveyard shift at the grocery store, where exploited workers are just game pieces in the capitalists' quest to win.  One of the guys working there, who was actually doing the store a favor by covering another employee's shift, was reprimanded for eating a bag of chips that he bought at the gas station. The supervisor was cranky that this employee didn't get and keep the receipt for said chips.  (Guilty until proven innocent is the way of things for those at the bottom rungs). The employee, who had fairly paid for his chips, said he wouldn't be covering others' shifts any more, since it got him no gratitude. To which the supervisor replied, "oh, well you have no gratitude for the extra money you're earning!".
The message I took from this: "Come work for us, where you'll be treated like a thief, worked hard from night until dawn for minimum wage, and expected to be grateful for fixing out scheduling problems".

I'm reminded of the only politically-oriented slogan I ever remember liking:
In capitalism, man exploits man.  In socialism, it works the other way around.

Oh well.  Writing articles for a local paper won't pay much better but it's a step in the right direction, in my mind, and if nothing else, stirs my interests and sense of excitement.

Weinergate and a Time-Slur

The so-called "Weinergate".  

News Flash: A congress man uses Tweeter to show his wiener (or something like that) and now his political rivals and the media are trying to make this part of your concern...part of your moral concern. 

We all know about the accusations of war crimes pointed at the Bush administration. In our living rooms, on our giant plasma screens, we saw some of the bombs drop. He kept his job.

Anybody trying to understand the American ethic might conclude that warring for oil is ok, but sexting is not.  I say this because sometimes I get the impression that the collective moral code of N.America is twisted in this direction.

Also, "sexting" is a word now?   Oh.    

Sexting: On-line opinion polls show various reactions to this word.  "It's another example of technology de-humanizing us" says one school; "it saved my marriage in this fast-paced world" says another school; "blah blah blah" says others.
I also have an opinion about "sexting". It's another silly 'buzz word' with no clearly defined meaning; it's sufficiently vague that nobody can think clearly when using it as a mental category and sufficiently provocative that people can be secretly titillated and publicly outraged. For those needing to make stirring noises to the sleepy masses in lieu of expressing a thought (politicians and most media), it is a perfect word.

If we're going to create separate categories for communicative acts done via technology, I submit the following for your consideration: "hen-pexting",as in, "politicians and media are hen-pexting Weiner over his sexting".   You get a general sense of my feelings about the situation without knowing exactly--or even approximately--what the offending parties are doing.

However, my favorite line in this whole bunk issue was from Pelosi, who launched an investigation into  "whether any official resources were used or any other violation of House rules occurred".  Is Weiner's penis an official resource? She's positioning herself, I'd guess, as a prudent politician worried about ill-spent tax-dollars.  Oh btw, I wonder how much the investigation into this bunk issue will cost. ..  

This is sitcom stuff right here.

Meanwhile, "Weiner photos" is the number 1 searched for phrase on the internet right now, according to Alexa.com.  The public is so offended by this scandal, that they want to see his penis with their own eyes. 

God bless everybody's heart.

Internal Clock Officially Broken:

I woke up at 1PM with the following gnarled thought-process:
"Since I work nights, that means that I'm awake at the same time most people in Korea are awake, given the time difference.  Therefore, since it's 1PM here, it is also 1PM there".

Sleepy brains are prone to non-sequiturs. 

Logical dexterity isn't the only thing ruined by working nights; my intuitive sense of time is on the fritz.  It feels like ages since I turned 34, but it was only yesterday.

The graveyard shift has some interesting aspects, though.  Eating my "lunch" on the curb, the town sleeps and my co-workers--psychologically shaped by a shady life--discuss cops, brag about their past crimes, comment that each passing car is probably an under-cover cop, and talk about the corruption of cops. I don't think these people hold cops in high regard.  And I shove my wallet a little deeper into my front pocket...

4 Opinions to Express if you want to be Unpopular.

Have you ever been in the company of people you don't like, and you want to never be invited to their social circle again?  Here are 4 opinions, which may or may not be those of the author, that can save you from such a recurring nightmare!

1) Consumption is the Problem folks, not the Cure. 

Common internet questions:
 - What foods will make me smarter?
 - What foods will reduce back-pain?
 - What meat distributor is most environmentally friendly?
 - What foods prevent cancer?
 - How can I eat to maximize energy?
 - What foods should I eat for my heart condition?
 - Is it true that oysters are aphrodisiacs?
 - What foods can I eat to burn fat?

Life sure would be easier if you could just eat your way out of any problem that arose.  Cancer?  Eat this.  Obese?  Chew on these. Retarded?  Well, have I got the cereal for you!  Environmental apocalypse threatening human extinction? You should be eating from this company.

That people look to food as a cure makes it clear to me that they're not really seeking a cure.  They're seeking a way pacify their fears with food.

2) Freedom is a Bad Joke, we are the Punchline.
 - A recent study charted the location of several people over the course of weeks. Nearly everybody--in an urban setting--went to only 4 to 6 places, which they visited regularly (83% of the time).  Suburbanites are much more limited. Technology will set you free?

 - By and large, Christians beget Christians, Muslims beget Muslims, Buddhist beget Buddhists, Hindus beget Hindus and atheists beget atheists. The pattern is predictable. And it is predictably influenced by the presence of missionaries.  Is this our God-given free soul?

 - About 33% of TV airtime is filled with commercials. If you watch 4 hours of TV per day (the N.American average), then you see almost 500 hours of commercials per year. Companies spend billions designing these to direct your behavior (subconsciously, in most cases) and have statistics that demonstrate it is an effective use of their money.  How many name-brand consumables do you have?  Still convinced you're free?

 - Democrazy was supposed to give the people some leverage.  One vote, this guy or that guy (both roughly the same). Is this the freedom that wars were fought over?  Oh.

 - Politicians tax (take) most of our money (after income takes, provincial and federal takes, property takes, and other BS takes). If you don't obediently hand over the money you earn, you will be punished. If you resist, there will be violence and great loss. So you work most of your waking life to earn enough to consume and then you hand the rest over to the gooberment. Much of this money is spent on wars to spread our "freedom".     

 - Everybody has roughly the same opinions & behaviors.  Nobody these days tries to summon a god, start an anarchist revolution, reshape the parameters of their mind through ordeal or intoxication, live in a cave for a decade to find themselves, or use all this new technology for much other than Facebook and Youtube. And it's not because we're all busy doing more fulfilling, exciting things; we're all bored as hell. We watch 4 hours a day of TV!  Except for a few people you occasionally see on that TV, we're all living the same life. And we're convinced that we freely live this pre-fabricated, template of a life.  Freely.

Seems to me like we're enslaved by anything with more power than us, which is a lot (technology, ideology, religion, habits, government, corporate agendas,etc.).

3) We. do. not. care.
Scientists told us decades ago about global warming. Scientists, who work with science, do their research and, a while back predicted chaotic and violent weather, like we're seeing today. Politicians--often with personal investment in oil and no scientific training or research--assure us that, if the bogey-man of climate change really exists (which it probably doesn't), we didn't do it!  And people seem confused about who to believe.  Which is bullshit. They know who to believe--and in the event that they don't, a smidgen of intelligence would favor acting cautiously in the face of global disaster.  If you care, I mean.

People are starting to care now. Natural disasters get worse and will continue that way.  42 millions were displaced by natural disasters in 2010. Glaciers melt. Tornadoes brood and earthquakes rattle.  Yet the consumption of gas continues.

Like I said, we've known about the 'green house effect' for a long time; I heard about it when I was six.  Yet, the debate at the school is this: Should we teach bible creationism alongside evolution?  Is this a bunk issue? Seems like climate change might be a more pressing for education. If we cared. Never really comes up though.

To say it again: we've been hearing about climate change for a long time, knowing that our consumption is what's causing it--particularly burning oil.  And the only complaints you hear about this is, "Gas is too expensive".

Stepping back, here is a substance, the burning of which is threatening to terminate human history and the general mood is grumpiness that we have to pay more money to burn it.  Humans actually feel entitled to burn this substance at a fair price, regardless of the dangerous consequences or who is digging it up and refining it or what wars are fought to control it. Just give it, and give it cheap!  

We.do.not.care.
Not about the future generations.  Not enough to do anything.   

The threat to our existence will not be recycled away or fixed with environmentally-friendly packaging. The green detergent you're using does nothing. You know this already.  So let's quit patting ourselves on the back for our silly efforts because business as usual on the planet seems to be coming to an abrupt and violent end. Evidence points to us as the cause.  Let's face our self-created destiny with a little more dignity, please.


4) We don't know a thing:
Most "sophisticated" folk, who claim to look at things from a reasonable and science-supported perspective, don't know how fast things fall from their hands if dropped, nor could they tell you why the periodic chart of chemicals assigns numbers to each chemical, nor could they clearly explain thermodynamics or any natural laws of gas or electricity.

And I don't blame people for their ignorance (or, I try not to); but how about giving up the appearance of knowing things. The behavior of molecular structures is far easier to understand than human behavior (a molecule is simpler than a brain), yet almost nobody can explain very well why ice melts but they're somehow perfectly convinced they know what why this politician did that and that guy murdered the other guy.  Modern psychological research has been dumping mounds upon mounds of evidence that people do not know why they themselves do what they do. The reason why a person eats particular foods, wears particular clothes, stays with particular people, chooses particular opinions, etc. are unknown to that person. The reasons they give for their own behavior are very wrong and wildly, even hilariously, biased. 
.

Cultural drift

Your tag's showing:

When I was out of the country without a job, I was a 'traveler'. Return home and suddenly I'm just 'unemployed'. Since I'm waiting for a call from No Frills to give me my first shift, I'm living a bum's lifestyle. With the label 'unemployed' comes imperatives to sloth around I guess. I'm not convinced that 'No Frills employee' is a much better label, but at least it'll get me out of the house.  
 
Sex Rant 
Where did sex go?  Think back to the Cheers years, an era built on innuendo and Sam Malone's pick-up artistry. Flip on the TV and now it's mostly zombies, crime, geeks and pet shows attracting viewers. The stats back this opinion up.  And movies..."Just the very word "zombie" can persuade people to buy tickets for a movie, and "sex" hasn't done that in years", says Roger Ebert.
Turn your ears to the music. I cringe at the bands now beating drums under the banner of 'rock'. Their lyrics describe being victim to their own hurt feelings and emotional co-dependency. I'm all for being self-aware, but when weaknesses are spotted, you fix them rather than make a song about them. Are these bland tunes and whiny-bitch voices catering to a nation of soft-as-goo metrosexuals? What happened to the holy trinity of sex, drugs and rock n' roll? 

I ask not because I love other people having sex in all my TV and movies; but
this Oprah-brand 'evolved man' who's crowning achievement in life is being reasonable, polite, and willing to compromise at the drop of a hat inspires nothing in me but quiet contempt.

I've got this over-sensitivity in me too. I'm not condemning, I just really wanted to....share my feelings with you.    

Bear, Refurbished Brain, & the Food Chain

Did I post this picture already or not?  If so, here they are again: Bears!  More awesome than dangerous--and that's saying a lot. 


Life Scripts:

Ever catch yourself saying, "I can't do that", or, "I'm just not a numbers person", or "she's just got the genes for being stripper-hot, where as I've just got plus-sized jeans", or, "I always do shit like this; fucking things up is like my signature".

Even if you think you don't really have much invested in platitudes like these, consider that your words come out of your brain--and your brain uses information to direct behavior! . Yeah I know, we talk this way in the pretense of a humbleness we may or may not really feel, or to have that self-deprecating sense of humor that everybody loves so much. Nonetheless...brains are faithful to the information available to them.  In a sense, we become actors in the 'grand theater of no rehearsals', living these scripts, or rather, having these scripts live us.

(As an experiment, I suggest setting an alarm clock to go off five times randomly during the day.  Write down exactly what you were thinking/saying when the alarm goes off.  What your brain is saying about you and your place in the world will likely surprise you).

Dismantling these unhandy self-defining info-packets requires patience and a good eye/ear. As they dissolve, acquired is an opportunity to write a better script.  Here's one I'm writing into my life:
"Make a little money, have a little fun, do a little good".  This is, imo, a winner's script.  Installing it is like installing modernity in Africa. There are revolts and the gnashing of teeth as my old habits ('traditions' handed down by tribal 'ancestors) fight for the power they've established and feel entitled to.  

And now, a picture of a pigeon!

Empty Pockets Filled with Plans:

I might have given the impression, in my last couple of posts, that I'm not grateful to have a job at No Frills.  Well, thanks to all the acceptance-as-things-are that I've garnished from years of meditation and reflection, I can say with some confidence that I'm not totally red with rage or in blue despair about it. My childhood fantasies never included me wearing a name-tag and earning minimum at age 33 (I think I saw myself wearing a cape and flying), but I understand that the food-chain needs fodder and since my own job needs are particular, this is the best I can do for the time being. 

Why can't I get paid to blog and take pictures, any way?

Actually, I'm working on exactly that.  Not with this blog mind you. I might have an inflated sense of my own wit and intelligence but I know better than to expect others to fork over cash for my half-baked opinions (<-- note: life script for erasure). I'm currently cooking up another blog for Nikon D90 users that might be of value to fellow photon-snatchers (photographers).  The site is still in its infancy, but it'll soon be a power horse of useful info romping around the wild net; it'll be a platform upon which I can sell a product or service--I have a few in mind. Or it'll just be another voice in the wilderness of the net represented a lot of wasted hours.  Time will tell.

4 Seemingly Unrelated Nodes of Today.

4-wheeler ride:
Dragonflies in numbers thick enough to dazzle, amaze and bounce off my un-visored face zig-zagged around the swamps they were spawn in today, as my dad and I took the 4-wheelers through the bush.  He spotted a doe and her fawn, who was taking milk by a creek. Curious about what my dad was looking at, I dismounted and came down to witness the surreal scene, shadowed as it was under the forest canopy peppered with sunlight. Neither animal seemed alarmed by our presence and left at leisure. It breaks my heart that they're so delicious. Such beautiful and majestic animals don't really deserve to become sausages. But I wouldn't turn one down, even with the memories fresh in my head.  Mmmm...fresh venicine venison (thanks dad). 

Interview:
After working for 6 years in Korea and then taking off almost half of 2011, I was interviewed today for a position at No Frills. I admit this not without some shame.  Part-time minimum-wage-slavery isn't the best way to welcome myself back into the Canadian workforce. I got the job at least.

Irritatingly, 5% of Bancroft is unemployed (according to 2006 stats). After only a 2 hour job search without even selling myself (it never came up that I have an MA, or even a BA) I got this position. I surmise that this 5% isn't even trying. Presumably, garnished from my meager paycheck will be taxes to benefit those that consider themselves above stocking shelves, those who would sit on unemployment instead.

Dear welfare bums: You people are why Canada will never have nice things.  Except welfare.  I guess that's a nice thing for some people.   

Hot & Cold:
I lay almost dead in my sweat-dampened sheets last night trying to savour this unwintery season.  Eventually I gave up the pretense and simply cursed the goddam heat. It was a guilty little pleasure. Then a thought struck me: Is the summer as hot as the winter is cold? (That is..am I justified in hating this heat?) I even tried to be calculating about my opinion as opposed to merely biased in my current, miserable, unairconditioned environment.My conclusion is that winter is worse for humans in Ontario. The reasoning goes like this: if left nakedly exposed to the elements, a cold winter day would probably kill you. A summer day would do damage too, but you'd likely survive. So the summer heat really is the lesser of the two evils. But it's an evil nonetheless, in my books.  

Blorenge:
I'd always thought it an unfortunate gap that no word in the English rhymes with "orange". Consider the possibilities: mornge, thornge, klornge, etc. Nothing is wrong with these sounds except that they lack meaning. To rectify this, I was going to propose the word "blornge" to refer to the sound trees make in the breeze. "As the wind gusted, the trees blornged earnestly".  Then I discovered that blorenge really is a word and already has a meaning.  Go figure.