1) . "D'ja crack it over your head?" asked my grade 11 chemistry teacher. I was like, "no" and scoffed. But the on-coming blush was like, "yeah, I sure did".
The object in question was a hardcover chemistry textbook, and actually, I didn't crack it over my head (thank-you very much Mr.Blush). I slammed it repeatedly with enough force that I saw stars as the cover buckled. I was that confused.
I really wanted to be a genius and this textbook was providing me with evidence that I probably wasn't one, and so I thought, "maybe a little brain damage will give me that extra shove into Einsteinian IQ".
2) So that last sentence wasn't true, it was a sarcastic "joke". I really broke the book over my head because I have a neurosis that causes me to punish myself and I'm trying to make light of it. OK? Yeah, thanks. Thanks for making me put it all out there, for all to see and judge me by. As long as you feel the need for me to bear my bleeding soul, you should know that I don't use blunt objects any more to punish myself. I find words to be quite effectively painful. So there, happy?
3) I'm such a stupid, stupid jerk for being rude to my readers. They hate me, and they should.
4) I took my expensive camera to the dump to take pictures (OK OK, my dad drove me).
It was nice to get out of the house. It was a break from the usual (ie. nothing)
5) My daily "to-do" lists these days are sparse:
1) drink morning coffee.
2) wait for colleges to contact you.
3) go back to bed.
Wow. This post is super organized. I could, if I wanted to, refer you to section 5-3, the "going to bed" clause.
6) But seriously, I'm 33, I'm divorced, I have no job, no house, no car and no clear 5 year plan (I'm also single ladies, and at times I fancy myself a genius. Call me). Instead of seeing this as a world of possibilities, I sit and stew. I'm dancing to the wrong song: Don't happy, be worry. And with a to-do list like that, I've got lots of time to dance.
Sometimes I try to change myself. Here's a method I've used that never works and always provides me a brain hernia:
1) Promise myself that I'll do a 180 degree turn, starting tomorrow.
2) Next day, make an unsustainable plan, fuel myself with coffee and ill-tempered motivation, and throw myself at it.
3) Seriously lose it at the first or second obstacle.
4) Blame them! Become rage.
5) Blame self. Become despair. Crumble.
6) Console with cake and deep, unflinching uneasiness.
Starting tomorrow (oh, here we go), the agenda will be as follows:
1) Drink morning coffee
2) Examine what is keeping me inactive (fears, most likely)
3) Deconstruct them (are they valid fears?)
4) Wait for colleges to contact me.
5) Go to bed.
It's early in the morning here. Sections 6-1 or 5-1, the 'drinking morning coffee' clauses, will give you an indication of why I'm going to walk away from the computer now.
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