Tuesday, May 31, 2011

FAQ: WTF?


In case you're going through this entire day without witnessing something that reshapes your vision of humanity, consider this:

http://whitepowermilk.com/

Aside from the obvious question of 'why?', this product challenges me on deeper levels.

For one, I'm a whatever-floats-your-boat sort of guy providing that you're not sinking the boats of others. In this sense, I can detect no moral grounding for objection to this product. It represents a hygienic question-mark and an aesthetic disaster but not, according to my own principles, a moral offense. For challenging my principles just by existing, I must tip my hat to  this processed milk and whatever sort of mind invoked it. 

Second, I'm astounded by the unlikely configuration of elements in play. Here is something as primitive as gland secretions from the bovine mammary, processed by gargling, created to supply an extremely niche demand (I hope) and made available to all everywhere via the bells and whistles of refrigeration, e-commerce, satellite and internet technology.  Did Adam Smith ever see this coming?  Doubt it. Economic evolution, congratulations on your new mutation.

Considering factors like e-commerce, robotics, artificial intelligence, multi-cultural globalism, genetics, nanotechnology and human weirdness, it is obvious that the most frequently asked question of the 21st century is going to be WTF? 


A N Y W A Y . . .

Without wanting to impose labels such as "good" or "bad", I'll say that had a day.  During said day, I marched throughout Bancroft with a long, confident stride, resume in hand, head held high, seeking work at such esteemed places of commerce as Tim Hortons, Subway and Canadian Tire.  It appears that my 6 years of post-secondary education and varied experience both domestic and abroad will be excellently applied by the highest only bidder: No Frills. Alas, the job isn't certain (fingers crossed for this interview tomorrow) and I'd just hate to jinx this part-time shlopportunity by speaking over-confidently.  Stay tuned for news from your friendly neighborhood, over-educated grocery-bagger.

(Dear No Frills manager, if you're reading this blog by some miraculously awful coincidence, please note that I do recognize the importance of food stuffs and the distribution thereof, as well as the valuable piece No Frills plays in the commercial food-chain puzzle. Accordingly, if hired I will stock your shelves with due diligence, bag groceries in exaggerated earnest, and salute my minimum-wage check appropriately. PS. I have a cutting-edge milk product in mind for your retail considerations). 


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